For the latest Red Table Talk, Ciara joined the ladies of the Pinkett-Smith family for an insightful conversation on healing emotional scars.

This week’s episode found the Beauty Marks singer detailing her very public breakup with Future, as well as how she found love again with husband Russell Wilson. During the discussion, Ciara recounted what ultimately led to her 2014 split from The Wizrd rapper as well as the moments that helped her define the peace she feels today.

“I remember one time I was working out on the elliptical machine and I was just not sure about ‘Do I stay or what direction do I go? What’s the right thing to do? It’s easy to do this, but is the easy thing the right thing?’” Ciara recalled.

She then explained how this breakthrough led to her taking her son, Future Jr., on several trips across the world to solidify her confidence in walking away from her broken relationship. According to Ciara, it proved that she had to commit to herself instead of others.

“If I chose not to commit I was going to fall apart,” the vocalist said. “The one thing I will say is, I’m really afraid of losing myself.”

Elsewhere during the chat, Ciara also expressed gratitude to Wilson for accepting her for who she is and loving her the way she always wanted others to.

“Me and my husband look at each other and I’m a better woman because of him, and he says he’s a better man because of me,” the “Level Up” singer said. “You need those roller-coaster rides. I believe in my journey happening in front of the world for a reason.”

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